What I learned in 2023.
January 7 2024 · Ryan Walpole
Last night I was doing a PF2 campaign run by Lyle with Birb and Onyon. It was good fun, for Onyon's birthday after all. Once we finished (at the half way point of the campaign), we set off to go to town for our weekly Maccas run. On the drive home in the wee hours of this morning, I somehow got onto the topic of this blog. I mentioned that I had been recording a lot of my thoughts and stuff on a site that not many people really even know about - even those closest to me. When I set out to write this journal, I wanted to be able to write how I was feeling without any reservations - without wondering if someone I was writing about was going to be reading, and get upset.
Onyon brought the blog up on his phone and he read some of the entries aloud - starting with the first few and some select from throughout the year. It was a really sobering and interesting experience, hearing what I had been feeling - even over a year ago. When he read my first post, the one titled "What I learned in 2022", I just knew that I had to write a follow up - my first post for 2024.
So here we are. Here's what I learned in 2023.
You can be the most social you've ever been in your life and still be very, very antisocial at the same time.
People that you were always meant to find and befriend are sometimes just around the corner, in settings that are most unexpected.
Pushing yourself to do things that are scary or strange can result in days, weeks or even months of joy.
How to Sketch! I've spent many months sketching random things for a character journal, that have left me with actual drawing skills.
That sex is still great but not necessary to feed insecurities. They ain't goin' away regardless. Don't force yourself to be sexual just to try make yourself feel hot. You'll still feel ugly afterwards.
It's very okay to let people go when they are not providing you with any positivity. It's also okay to let people go when they are providing you with positivity, if you find that their existence is still draining you.
Building a house is the hardest thing in the world.
40 degree pitched rooves are fucking s t e e p.
I am definitely in love.
I am more adaptable to unfamiliar situations than I thought, and dare I say - in some of them, I've realised some talents.
Wisdom teeth are a fucking cunt (I thought I realised this in 2020 but this round was far worse)
It's okay that I didn't write at least one post a month all year. The main thing is that I did come back to the journal; I didn't abandon it.
I have a problematic crush on Kit Connor. He's 19.
I am self aware about my celebrity crushes being problematic.
I love reading.
My goal was to write this journal for 2023. I didn't really have any plans to continue it past 2023, and honestly to an extent I didn't even think I'd make it to the end of 2023. I mean, I've only ever kept a journal a handful of times and it always lasted just shy of a year, and most of the time (cough, journal writing class, cough) I was made accountable for not writing in it. I have decided though, with how fucking cool it was to hear my entries read back to me, that I will try my best to continue it in 2024. With that being said, I am not going to put any rules on it. I will write when and if I feel like it. There will be no "once a month minimum".
Lastly, to myself a year ago. Thank you.
You made some tough decisions that lead to me having a far better year than I would have, otherwise.
Love ya, kid.